英文自傳修改

英文自傳修改

何緯緯 » 週四 9月 24, 2015 8:50 am

請大家幫忙改正,謝謝
Autobiography
My name is HO CHIH-WEI. This name mean I can control the country or a group, because my parents hope I can be a leader. Now, I am studying in a Department of Biotechnology National Formosa University. When I learned that our university has overseas sister university then open my vision for exchange students. SIU was rated best Midwestern University. College of Science and the Department of Physiology is close related to my future direction of studies. I know that Southern Illinois University Carbondale is located a simple town from the internet. Campus environment is quite beautiful, too. Schools in a small lake, people can go to experience the duck boat with canoes, but also as long as the student card can, in the evening time to see the beautiful sunset over the river at night to the stars and the moon. It is really quite a pleasant thing. Many reasons make SIU to be my first choice. I like to make friends from different culture. We exchange information, ideas, school lives and academic problems.
I like getting hands-on experience in various interests, such as cooking. Through experiencing and understanding concepts, I can find different types of applications for these concepts. I also like static activity. Such as reading popular science magazines, science fiction, detective literature, and likes to participate in various exhibitions. Throughout my academic years, I not only strive for knowledge but also am very active on another field. Such as that I attended the 2012 International Camp and Youth Development and The 2013 Female College Students Leadership Training Program Certificate. I involved in school club activities. I have joined Ballroom Dancing club and learned Latin dance .I like dance and enjoy the team spirit we have. I really enjoy participating in school activities; I not only make many friends and have lots of fun but also gain many different valuable experiences
I went to Green Island to Room & Board at summer in 2013 , that time does not depend on the home must be independent to face many difficulties, when the experience deeply affected me. I believe I can become a people that can face setbacks and solve problems independently, During the working time, I encountered travelers from everywhere. I heard many different stories are very interesting experience. I’d like to know more about the world and meet different people in different places. Especially in the fourth year in university, in order to make a beautiful ending and have a colorful memory in my life and I think that go to SIU is the best way.
 
文章: 1
註冊時間: 週四 9月 24, 2015 8:48 am

Re: 英文自傳修改

Roliroli Roli » 週四 9月 24, 2015 10:10 pm

只稍微看了一下,其他部份就看看有沒有人要補充修正的...

這句怪怪的
When I learned that our university has overseas sister university then open my vision for exchange students.

縮寫 SIU 應該第一次要標明全名
SIU was rated best Midwestern University.

如果不會寫這麼長的句子,建議拆開來寫...雖然知道你想表達學校風景優美,但是這邊很怪...
Schools in a small lake, people can go to experience the duck boat with canoes, but also as long as the student card can, in the evening time to see the beautiful sunset over the river at night to the stars and the moon

beautiful ending...? 好像太誇張了?
in order to make a beautiful ending and have a colorful memory in my life and I think that go to SIU is the best way
 
文章: 5
註冊時間: 週日 9月 06, 2015 1:58 am


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