國內求職用英文履歷及自傳

國內求職用英文履歷及自傳

吳益民 » 週三 4月 06, 2016 12:50 pm

請幫忙看那些地方需要修正,謝謝!

Name
Address
Email:XX@XXX.com.tw
Phone: XXX

EDUCATION

Bachelor of Chemical Engineering
National Taiwan University of Science and Technology,2007-2012

Chemical INDUSTRY EXPERIENCE

Process Engineer Jul 2013- Present
Coating P. Materials co., Ltd, Taichung Ind. Park, Taichung

● Assistant team leader to dispatch and manage the human resources
● Set up process parameters of equipment.
● Establish and improve process condition and technology
● Equipment repair and abnormal condition handling.
● Upgrade process capability and reduce production cost.

Data Files Manager EXPERIENCE

Data Files Manager Apr 2012- June 2012
Cardinal Tien Hospital, Yonghe Dist., New Taipei City

● Responsible for the archive by-case basis points to close the binding order.
● In accordance with the classification of documents, number, registration, into the file, sealed, custody.
● Handle file recall, back, organize and shelves, etc.

SPECIAL SKILLS

Training and give guidance to each new hire in Coating P. Materials co., Ltd.

● Keep mentees current on what's happening in the company and quickly get them involved in the competitive environment.
● Help promising mentees consider all the available development opportunities in the company, like job rotation, or work on cross-functional teams.
● Arrange for help to plug any skills gaps, including in-house training or outside resources.
● Step in to mediate when the rookie is facing some trouble with another experienced colleague.

Autobiography

My name is XXX, From Taichung. I graduated from National Taiwan University Science and Technology, I graduated from National Taiwan University Science and Technology with a Bachelor degree in Chemical Engineering in 2012.

I have had two work experiences. The first company was Cardinal Tien Hospital, I worked as a Data Files Manager from Apr 2012- June 2012 at Medical Records Department, in charge of Handle file recall, back, organize and shelves. From this job, I have got the experience of doing the job on my own.

The second company is Coating P. Materials, I have been working as a process engineer at the PE Department since Jul.2013, in charge of operating, analyzing, and manage the human resources. On duty the task of perambulatory job is examination moving state that safeguard and records five production lines discover the unusual situation of quality and equipment and in time handle abnormal conditions make sure product quality and production line reliable safety runs. Active contact production management redistribution scheduling to increase operation rate and dispatch co-work to do another work.

From my work experiences, I can communicate and cooperate with people smoothly in team work, and finish the task efficiently and effectively. In problem solving, I am capable of analyzing problems, finding solutions and implementing the findings to solve the problems. Therefore, I am a team player with good communication and problem-solving skills. From these experiences, I know the importance of team work in an organization. In team work, I understand it is very important to have a common goal and good communication in a team. In addition, I deem that handling and implementing the task should be with positive attitude at work. It is very important and necessary the working attitude.

I am a person with strong resistance to pressure and can surely accept challenges. According to my experience and ability, I have the confidence to do the job well and achieve the task. Hope I could get the opportunity to serve your company. I will make all efforts contribute to the company.
 
文章: 2
註冊時間: 週三 4月 06, 2016 12:43 pm

Re: 國內求職用英文履歷及自傳

Dunchee MA » 週三 4月 06, 2016 11:22 pm

● Assistant team leader to dispatch and manage the human resources
● Set up process parameters of equipment.
● Establish and improve process condition and technology
● Equipment repair and abnormal condition handling.
● Upgrade process capability and reduce production cost.


1. "I(你) assist (my) team leader ...?" or "My job title is "Assistant Team Leader"??
是前者的話,Assistant 錯字

"manage the human resources" ? "the"(特指的原因是? 只限你自己的組/部門?) 或者改寫?

https://www.google.com/search?client=ubuntu&channel=fs&q=%22dispatch+and+manage+human+resources%22&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

https://www.google.com/search?client=ubuntu&channel=fs&q=%22dispatch+and+manage+human+resources%22&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#channel=fs&q=%22dispatch+and+manage+the+human+resources%22
(我這邊的搜尋結果是)只有三個「中文」 --- 「適當的使用」Google可以看出些端倪。你用的寫法基本上「不是英文」(不是英文母語的人會用的表達方式)

以 2 為例:
2 相當於 I set up process parameters of equipment. 這種將"I"略掉的"style"是寫 resume(/presentation 等這類"條列式寫法") 多種表達方式的一種,這本身沒有錯,但是既然你用了這個style,就統一用這種,不要「混用」。比如之後的"Equipment repair and abnormal condition handling"就又變成了另一種style。

Data File Manager部份同前。以及:
"In accordance with the classification of documents"不能直接這樣子寫。我不知道你要表達什麼(因為無法看出是什麼"動詞"(/動作)與之搭配

"Training and give guidance to" : 不能這樣子一個用 -ing,一個用... 混用

"[d]Handle[/d] file recall,..." : 時態不對(以前的事情)

你的 resume 需要重寫,統一整體的style。能的話買本寫resume的書,進一步改進內容
頭像
 
文章: 129
註冊時間: 週五 9月 25, 2015 7:37 am

Re: 國內求職用英文履歷及自傳

Dunchee MA » 週四 4月 07, 2016 4:14 am

Autobiography

... in charge of operating, analyzing, and manage ....

有沒有注意到?

From my work experiences, I can communicate and cooperate with people smoothly in team work, and finish the task efficiently and effectively.


直接說你有這些能力,這比較強而有力。不需要額外說"From my work experiences"「從我的..得知」。你這樣子講:「從我的..得知,我有xxx能力」,這給人的感覺是你需要靠那些外部說明來佐證 / 「才能」得知你有那些能力
比較:
https://books.google.com/books?id=L84QAlsku7MC&lpg=PA165&dq=job%20interview%20%22I%20communicate%20well%22&pg=PA165#v=onepage&q=job%20interview%20%22I%20communicate%20well%22&f=false

你的 Autobiography 仍有很大的改進空間。只是要湊篇幅,有"交"就好的話,那麼你也不用特別改。如果真的要寫一篇好的 Autobiography ,那麼找本求職英文自傳的書

你也可以自己花時間用Google對照你的句子去找。搜尋筆數趨於0 / 出處幾乎都是「中文」網頁,那麼這差不多等於在說你的句子有問題。比如:

https://www.google.com/search?channel=fs&q=%22+I+will+make+all+efforts+contribute+to+the+company%22&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

-----
https://www.google.com/search?channel=fs&q=%22+I+will+make+all+efforts+contribute+to+the+company%22&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8#channel=fs&q=%22make+all+efforts+contribute+to+the+company%22
頭像
 
文章: 129
註冊時間: 週五 9月 25, 2015 7:37 am

Re: 國內求職用英文履歷及自傳

吳益民 » 週四 4月 07, 2016 11:42 am

Dunchee MA 寫:Autobiography

... in charge of operating, analyzing, and manage ....

有沒有注意到?

From my work experiences, I can communicate and cooperate with people smoothly in team work, and finish the task efficiently and effectively.


直接說你有這些能力,這比較強而有力。不需要額外說"From my work experiences"「從我的..得知」。你這樣子講:「從我的..得知,我有xxx能力」,這給人的感覺是你需要靠那些外部說明來佐證 / 「才能」得知你有那些能力
比較:
https://books.google.com/books?id=L84QAlsku7MC&lpg=PA165&dq=job%20interview%20%22I%20communicate%20well%22&pg=PA165#v=onepage&q=job%20interview%20%22I%20communicate%20well%22&f=false

你的 Autobiography 仍有很大的改進空間。只是要湊篇幅,有"交"就好的話,那麼你也不用特別改。如果真的要寫一篇好的 Autobiography ,那麼找本求職英文自傳的書

你也可以自己花時間用Google對照你的句子去找。搜尋筆數趨於0 / 出處幾乎都是「中文」網頁,那麼這差不多等於在說你的句子有問題。比如:





謝謝你的建議,我也依照建議做了修正,如有空請在幫助排除問題。

Name
Address
Email:XX@XXX.com.tw
Phone: XXX

EDUCATION

Bachelor of Chemical Engineering
National Taiwan University of Science and Technology,2007-2012

Chemical INDUSTRY EXPERIENCE

Process Engineer in TPU Department Jul 2013- Present
Coating P. Materials co., Ltd, Taichung Ind. Park, Taichung

● Assist team leader to assign tasks to others in a timely and accurate manner
● Set up process parameters of equipment.
● Establish and improve process condition and technology
● Find and solve abnormal condition for equipment troubleshooting
● Upgrade process capability and reduce production cost.

Medical Records Clerk EXPERIENCE

Data Files Manager Apr 2012- June 2012
Cardinal Tien Hospital, Yonghe Dist., New Taipei City

● Organize and manage patients' health information data.
● Maintains effective communication with others, both inside and outside the department, to give or obtain needed information or coordinate activities of residents.

SPECIAL SKILLS

Training and giving guidance to each new hire in Coating P. Materials co., Ltd.

● Keep mentees current on what's happening in the company and quickly get them involved in the competitive environment.
● Help promising mentees consider all the available development opportunities in the company, like job rotation, or work on cross-functional teams.
● Arrange for help to plug any skills gaps, including in-house training or outside resources.
● Step in to mediate when the rookie is facing some trouble with another experienced colleague.

Autobiography
My name is Edward Wu, From Taichung. I graduated from National Taiwan University Science and Technology, I graduated from National Taiwan University Science and Technology with a Bachelor degree in Chemical Engineering in 2012.

I have had two work experiences. The first company was Cardinal Tien Hospital, I worked as a Records Clerk from Apr 2012- June 2012 at Medical Records Department, in charge of organizing and maintaining patient's medical records, including personal information, medical history and billing records and confirming with physicians or other medical personnel that the records are complete and correct. From this job, I have got the experience of doing the job on my own.

The second company is Coating P. Materials, I have been working as a process engineer in TPU Department since Jul.2013. In charge of the ipqc inspection and make sure all the operators and equipment running under control, and assist team leader to assigned tasks to others. When discover the unusual situation, I solve abnormal condition for equipment troubleshooting in time make sure product quality and production line reliable safety runs.

I am a team player with good communicate and cooperate with people smoothly in team work, and finish the task efficiently and effectively. In problem solving, I am capable of analyzing problems, finding solutions to solve the problems. From these experiences, I know it is very important to have a common goal and good communication in a team work in an organization. In addition, I deem that handling and implementing the task should be with positive attitude at work. It is very important and necessary the working attitude.

I am a person with strong resistance to pressure and can surely accept challenges. According to my experience and ability, I have the confidence to do the job well and achieve the task. Hope I could get the opportunity to serve your
 
文章: 2
註冊時間: 週三 4月 06, 2016 12:43 pm

Re: 國內求職用英文履歷及自傳

Dunchee MA » 週四 4月 07, 2016 11:28 pm

Find and solve abnormal condition -> conditions
可數名詞你要注意。這同時也是意思上的表達--是只有「一個」還是「多個」?
其它的你自己找(多查字典)

Data Files Manager Apr 2012- June 2012 這部份我前頭有說了。你的工作經驗是「過去的事情」,不要用現在式動詞

http://www.ldoceonline.com/dictionary/communicate
https://www.google.com/search?channel=fs&q=%22with+good+communicate+and%22&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8
也注意看別人怎麼寫(多留意寫的人的背景。略過英文不是母語的人)

修改很花時間。你的"內容"大致上沒變,我只能猜測你只想有交就好,所以剩下的你自己做就好
頭像
 
文章: 129
註冊時間: 週五 9月 25, 2015 7:37 am


誰在線上
正在瀏覽這個版面的使用者:沒有註冊會員 和 1 位訪客