My cyber-mate

My cyber-mate

台灣英語網1.0 » 週五 8月 21, 2015 2:45 pm

Please correct my essay. Thanks in advance.

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A particular Russian woman

I have a Russian cyber-mate who is a 24-year-old, 172 cm tall woman. She earned her B.A. in the department of Music from a Russian college and becomes a good pianist. She lives with her mother only in a very rural area, 500 km. away from Moscow, and works as a cosmetologist with 80 U.S. dollars per month.

It is her who contacted me first last month by surfing a friend-making website, where I registered in June. So far, we have been corresponding with each other by e-mails for 10 times. I was delighted to receive her e-mail at the beginning, since I have never had any Russian friends, thinking it would be a great chance for culture exchanges.

After receiving my returned e-mail, she continues to send me e-mails, in which she regularly attaches one of her pictures to me (在每封電子郵件,她必定會夾帶一張她的照片給我看). You might think this is the beginning of a romantic love story, but things gets the opposite of what I expected.

In her second e-mail, attached with her lady-like dressed picture, she said she had strong feeling toward me. In her third e-mail, still with her “normal” picture, she said she missed me very much and started to seriously think of our future.

Things went odd from her fourth e-mail, because she attached a picture of her dressing in nightclothes and raised up her shirt pajamas, showing her beautiful thighs. Also, she told me she began to presume me as her future husband.

In her following e-mails, she kept on attaching similar pictures and praying for our meeting in the near future. In her latest e-mail, to my big surprise, she attached her picture dressed in her underpants and underwear in the woods. This time she said she dreamed we had dinner together with champagne and the candle, then making love after dinner. She confessed that she doesn’t have any sexual experience, and she told me that she wants to devote her first night to me.

What confuses me is I have never said I love her or I miss her. I just told her I wanted to know her more. To make matters worse, she never replies to my questions about her, which made me doubt that if she understands my English (Actually, it is hard to understand her poor English).

She is a Christian, well educated and very beautiful. I don’t realize why her words and behavior are so “strange.” The only reason I can think of is that she is from a single parent family, lacking her father’s love in her childhood.

Do you think she will attach her naked picture in her next e-mail? Am I too conservative? Is it a culture difference, or is she a neuropath?
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Re: My cyber-mate

台灣英語網1.0 » 週五 8月 21, 2015 2:45 pm

I have a Russian cyber-mate who is a 24-year-old, 172 cm tall woman. She earned her B.A. in the department of Music from a Russian college and becomes a good pianist. She lives with her mother only in a very rural area, 500 km. away from Moscow, and works as a cosmetologist with 80 U.S. dollars per month.
1. becomes -> became
2. 去掉only
3. km. 去掉"點"
4. with 80 --> with an 80-US-dollar pay per month

It is her who contacted me first last month by surfing a friend-making website, where I registered in June.
1. It is she...; 在非正式場合可以寫her (including this article)

So far, we have been corresponding with each other by e-mails for 10 times.
1. by e-mail 或through e-mails; 前頭的e-mail表示這"方法;途徑"; 後頭則是真的是一封封的e-mails。這是by和through在意思上的差異。

I was delighted to receive her e-mail at the beginning, since I have never had any Russian friends, thinking it would be a great chance for culture exchanges.
1. since I have ..--> since I had..
2. for a culture exchange. (個人建議啦,用單數代表整體行為,而不在一次次個別的"exchanges"上)

After receiving my returned e-mail,
1. "returned e-mail"有它的意思-->退件。returned換成first (如果不是一封,那就直接寫my e-mails)

she continues to send me e-mails, in which she regularly attaches one of her pictures to me.
1. continues --> continued .....attached..
2. to me --> for me; 使用to me 會變成(she ...attaches...to me) 她把照片貼在你身上

You might think this is the beginning of a romantic love story, but things gets the opposite of what I expected.
1. gets --> turn out to be
事情的發展有順序,先如何..然後如何.. things turn out to be the opposite 在意思上具有把"前頭的動作"-- 轉到/變成(turn out to be)--"後面的動作(the opposite)"的作用

things get the opposite只有單純字面意思,過於平鋪反而沒有邏輯上的意思... in short, it doesn't make sense.

In her second e-mail, attached with her lady-like dressed picture, she said she had strong feeling toward me.
1. feeling -> feelings

Things went odd from her fourth e-mail, because she attached a picture of her dressing in nightclothes and raised up her shirt pajamas, showing her beautiful thighs.
1. dressing --> dressed
2. and raised up her shirt pajamas ... 句型和時態有問題。這會變成 because she attached.... and raised up her....
乍看之下似乎沒問題,但是意思上是她附了照片...並且(突然飛到你面前??)把...拉起來給你看....

because she attached a picture of her dressed in nightclothes with her shirt pajamas raised and her ...thighs revealed.

In her following e-mails, she kept on attaching similar pictures and praying for our meeting in the near future.
1. meeting --> meetings 或是 first meeting

This time she said she dreamed we had dinner together with champagne and the candle,.... She ...to me.
1. the candle --> candles (或是 a candle)
2. 用過去式動詞,和"said"的時態一致

What confuses me is I have never said I love her or I miss her.
1. love...miss --> loved....missed

I just told her I wanted to know her more. To make matters worse, she never replies to my questions about her, which made me doubt that if she understands my English (Actually, it is hard to understand her poor English).
1. 都用過去式時態 (因為最早的事件"I told her..wanted..."是以過去式起頭,之後也是單純事件敘述,所以時態要一致)

She is a Christian, well educated and very beautiful. I don’t realize why her words and behavior are so “strange.”
1. behavior -> behaviors
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Re: My cyber-mate

台灣英語網1.0 » 週五 8月 21, 2015 2:45 pm

i agree with glotynn, Norisun, put her email address to[reject] list, don't get yourself trapped. Internet romance? while so many cheating in the real world already, never trust anything like this from the pseuso fairfound ---> Internet World.
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Re: My cyber-mate

台灣英語網1.0 » 週五 8月 21, 2015 2:45 pm

The story continues… Please correct errors, if any.

Beyond my expectation, my Russian cyber-mate didn’t attach any pictures in her recent e-mails; needless to say, I didn’t receive her naked picture. However, she continued to write some sweet nothings like “I cannot live without you”, “I dreamed that we had a good time on a Russian beach”, and “My mother is angry with me for I have been infatuated with you,” etc. Admittedly, I am kind of touched by her sincerity.

In her 14th e-mail, finally, I noticed that she started to read my e-mails because she knew I am living in Taiwan. She said she was going to book an airplane ticket from Moscow to Taipei, but hinted that it would be great if I could help her with the ticket. Considering that she is my first Russian cyber-mate and that she is so sincere, I replied that I could afford the 1,370 U.S. - dollar ticket and asked how I could pay the money.

In her 16th e-mail, she e-mailed me the travel agency’s bank account and hoped that I could remit money successfully. After reading her e-mail carefully, I found some unusual information in the bank account: it was located in Latvia, which departed from the former U.S.S.R. in 1991 and became an independent country since then. I asked her why the travel agency is in Latvia rather than in Russia, but she didn’t answer. Strangely, in her latest e-mail, she asked me not to remit money till further notice, for there was something wrong with the bank account.

It has been four days since I received her last e-mail. Although I told her I could pay by credit card, she has not replied yet. I wish she could come to Taiwan as soon as possible because I have been hungering for our first meeting. I will show her around in Taiwan, introduce this particular Russian woman to my family, and of course, share our romantic story with cyber-mates in this website.
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Re: My cyber-mate

台灣英語網1.0 » 週五 8月 21, 2015 2:45 pm

這篇已經寫得很好了,只有些小錯,和些小建議。

P1.
1. Beyond my expectation: "beyond"主要是用在形容"更好的表現",比如她寄了比原來預期更多的照片,甚或是寄禮物給你,所以這句最好改成 Out of my expectations。"expectation"加s會比較戲劇化些。
2. I didn't receive her naked pictureS.
3. nothings --> "nothings"; I like the way you put this word.但畢竟不是符合常情的用字,所以加個雙引號。

P2.
1. I am living -> I was living; 當然,你要保留am 也成。

P3, P4.
Ok
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